So between the back and forth to Phoenix AZ, and work, i have been a bit out of the loop. I have caught some bits and pieces of stuff and the world seems to turn in Xangan community. I have my own news and I will bullet point it as follows...

1, I am a nonsmoker again and it has been a solid month.

2, I am quiting my job at Illinois Masonic and moving west, Phoenix Az.

3, I am renting out my condo, more specifically, I am using a management company to rent it out.

4, I am buying a car in a couple months. I want a little Mazda3, hatchback. it's adorable and me.

5, with the warm weather last sunday, I got a taste of being outside and running and stuff, I can't wait for full on jogging season.

That's really it. I haven't been living this uber exciting life. I like a boy, a lot, who happens to live in Phoenix and I have a job that can take me all over the country. I am ready for a new adventure. I deserve happiness and I am open to it.

I was going to post a picture of him but I should get consent before I do that. He can be a bit private. That's not to say that he is a closet case or anything cause he isn't but he is just a personally private guy.  

So I am making another trip to Phoenix, AZ. It's a rather unexpected trip but hopefully it will blossom a symbolic flower in the desert.

Anyway, in preparing for the trip, which I do way in advance, I have decided to use this day off to find some "outfits" for the weekend. Listen, I hate doing stuff at the last minute and I think planning is important. That's not to say that I lack spontaneity because I can be very off the cuff. I don't, however, enjoy running around at the last minute trying to get things done. I tend to forget things that way. My bag will be packed at least two days in advance.

So, in prepping, I decided to try some clothes on to see what works and what doesn't. I blame my asianality for the excessive picture taking and some of it maybe my own ego but I like it, so there. I won't include all the pictures in the post but the main ideas are included. If you want to see all of them just go to the pictures section of my xanga and take a peek. Enjoy.

 this one I just added cause it was fun. I don't have a camera with the stability thing so a lot of times I tend to get blurry pictures cause I am a shaker, so it's nice when one turns out.

Amy Winehouse, one of my favorite singers, has a song called, “Tears Dry On Their Own.” There is a line that goes, “I fuck myself in the end anyway.” This is my metaphor today.

I get up after sleeping in a bit. I haven’t balanced my checkbook in about a week, mainly because I have been putting it off. There is something about giving ridiculous amounts of money to people I don’t know, for no reason,  that really bothers me. The rational side of me agrees that the money is for services rendered, but the baby in me doesn’t want to share.

So after I balance my checkbook and pay bills I have worked myself into a frenzied pit of despair and destitution. I use the word destitution because it sounds a lot like prostitution and that’s what I am going to have to do in order to keep up with my bills.

It’s true, I have always been the type to doomsday stuff but now, since I started the Welbutrin to quit smoking, it has been magnified a bit. This whole last week has been this roller coaster of emotions. I am sure that the combination of over working and long days affects me,  but Friday I felt like I was really enjoying being mean to people. The sad part is that I haven’t even started to stop smoking yet. You have to start the medication for two weeks, then set a stop date, mine is Feb 3^rd. I also think that the lack of sun and not being able to run outside has been a bit of a mood killer for me as well.

The last contributing factor, or excuse, is that Ryan has been trying to talk to me all week. I thought I made it clear that I wasn’t ready, but he does not seem to be listening. I think subconsciously, it has been a bit hard. I really loved him like I have never loved anyone. I have never been one to keep casual friendships. I have a lot of acquaintances but only a couple friends because it takes a lot to form those chains for people that I truly care about. I think you get the rest of the cliché about chains, bonds, broken.

Fast forward to yoga, which seems to be the only thing in my life right now I enjoy. I am in a standing forward bend and I realize, “stop it.” Stop doing this to yourself, you will always be okay, if not better, you are amazing, and taking a shower might be a good idea cause it smells weird down here.

I will be fine for a couple of reasons. I don’t talk fanatically talk about it but I do believe in God and I do believe that my life is amazing because of her/him, or shim or sherm. I also believe in Amy Winehouse and I do these things to myself. I create these fictionalized scenarios that will never come to fruition just because I have imagined them.

Isn’t life and Yoga funny that way?!

So between the back and forth to Phoenix AZ, and work, i have been a bit out of the loop. I have caught some bits and pieces of stuff and the world seems to turn in Xangan community. I have my own news and I will bullet point it as follows...

1, I am a nonsmoker again and it has been a solid month.

2, I am quiting my job at Illinois Masonic and moving west, Phoenix Az.

3, I am renting out my condo, more specifically, I am using a management company to rent it out.

4, I am buying a car in a couple months. I want a little Mazda3, hatchback. it's adorable and me.

5, with the warm weather last sunday, I got a taste of being outside and running and stuff, I can't wait for full on jogging season.

That's really it. I haven't been living this uber exciting life. I like a boy, a lot, who happens to live in Phoenix and I have a job that can take me all over the country. I am ready for a new adventure. I deserve happiness and I am open to it.

I was going to post a picture of him but I should get consent before I do that. He can be a bit private. That's not to say that he is a closet case or anything cause he isn't but he is just a personally private guy.  

So I am making another trip to Phoenix, AZ. It's a rather unexpected trip but hopefully it will blossom a symbolic flower in the desert.

Anyway, in preparing for the trip, which I do way in advance, I have decided to use this day off to find some "outfits" for the weekend. Listen, I hate doing stuff at the last minute and I think planning is important. That's not to say that I lack spontaneity because I can be very off the cuff. I don't, however, enjoy running around at the last minute trying to get things done. I tend to forget things that way. My bag will be packed at least two days in advance.

So, in prepping, I decided to try some clothes on to see what works and what doesn't. I blame my asianality for the excessive picture taking and some of it maybe my own ego but I like it, so there. I won't include all the pictures in the post but the main ideas are included. If you want to see all of them just go to the pictures section of my xanga and take a peek. Enjoy.

 this one I just added cause it was fun. I don't have a camera with the stability thing so a lot of times I tend to get blurry pictures cause I am a shaker, so it's nice when one turns out.

Amy Winehouse, one of my favorite singers, has a song called, “Tears Dry On Their Own.” There is a line that goes, “I fuck myself in the end anyway.” This is my metaphor today.

I get up after sleeping in a bit. I haven’t balanced my checkbook in about a week, mainly because I have been putting it off. There is something about giving ridiculous amounts of money to people I don’t know, for no reason,  that really bothers me. The rational side of me agrees that the money is for services rendered, but the baby in me doesn’t want to share.

So after I balance my checkbook and pay bills I have worked myself into a frenzied pit of despair and destitution. I use the word destitution because it sounds a lot like prostitution and that’s what I am going to have to do in order to keep up with my bills.

It’s true, I have always been the type to doomsday stuff but now, since I started the Welbutrin to quit smoking, it has been magnified a bit. This whole last week has been this roller coaster of emotions. I am sure that the combination of over working and long days affects me,  but Friday I felt like I was really enjoying being mean to people. The sad part is that I haven’t even started to stop smoking yet. You have to start the medication for two weeks, then set a stop date, mine is Feb 3^rd. I also think that the lack of sun and not being able to run outside has been a bit of a mood killer for me as well.

The last contributing factor, or excuse, is that Ryan has been trying to talk to me all week. I thought I made it clear that I wasn’t ready, but he does not seem to be listening. I think subconsciously, it has been a bit hard. I really loved him like I have never loved anyone. I have never been one to keep casual friendships. I have a lot of acquaintances but only a couple friends because it takes a lot to form those chains for people that I truly care about. I think you get the rest of the cliché about chains, bonds, broken.

Fast forward to yoga, which seems to be the only thing in my life right now I enjoy. I am in a standing forward bend and I realize, “stop it.” Stop doing this to yourself, you will always be okay, if not better, you are amazing, and taking a shower might be a good idea cause it smells weird down here.

I will be fine for a couple of reasons. I don’t talk fanatically talk about it but I do believe in God and I do believe that my life is amazing because of her/him, or shim or sherm. I also believe in Amy Winehouse and I do these things to myself. I create these fictionalized scenarios that will never come to fruition just because I have imagined them.

Isn’t life and Yoga funny that way?!

So between the back and forth to Phoenix AZ, and work, i have been a bit out of the loop. I have caught some bits and pieces of stuff and the world seems to turn in Xangan community. I have my own news and I will bullet point it as follows...

1, I am a nonsmoker again and it has been a solid month.

2, I am quiting my job at Illinois Masonic and moving west, Phoenix Az.

3, I am renting out my condo, more specifically, I am using a management company to rent it out.

4, I am buying a car in a couple months. I want a little Mazda3, hatchback. it's adorable and me.

5, with the warm weather last sunday, I got a taste of being outside and running and stuff, I can't wait for full on jogging season.

That's really it. I haven't been living this uber exciting life. I like a boy, a lot, who happens to live in Phoenix and I have a job that can take me all over the country. I am ready for a new adventure. I deserve happiness and I am open to it.

I was going to post a picture of him but I should get consent before I do that. He can be a bit private. That's not to say that he is a closet case or anything cause he isn't but he is just a personally private guy.  

So I am making another trip to Phoenix, AZ. It's a rather unexpected trip but hopefully it will blossom a symbolic flower in the desert.

Anyway, in preparing for the trip, which I do way in advance, I have decided to use this day off to find some "outfits" for the weekend. Listen, I hate doing stuff at the last minute and I think planning is important. That's not to say that I lack spontaneity because I can be very off the cuff. I don't, however, enjoy running around at the last minute trying to get things done. I tend to forget things that way. My bag will be packed at least two days in advance.

So, in prepping, I decided to try some clothes on to see what works and what doesn't. I blame my asianality for the excessive picture taking and some of it maybe my own ego but I like it, so there. I won't include all the pictures in the post but the main ideas are included. If you want to see all of them just go to the pictures section of my xanga and take a peek. Enjoy.

 this one I just added cause it was fun. I don't have a camera with the stability thing so a lot of times I tend to get blurry pictures cause I am a shaker, so it's nice when one turns out.

Amy Winehouse, one of my favorite singers, has a song called, “Tears Dry On Their Own.” There is a line that goes, “I fuck myself in the end anyway.” This is my metaphor today.

I get up after sleeping in a bit. I haven’t balanced my checkbook in about a week, mainly because I have been putting it off. There is something about giving ridiculous amounts of money to people I don’t know, for no reason,  that really bothers me. The rational side of me agrees that the money is for services rendered, but the baby in me doesn’t want to share.

So after I balance my checkbook and pay bills I have worked myself into a frenzied pit of despair and destitution. I use the word destitution because it sounds a lot like prostitution and that’s what I am going to have to do in order to keep up with my bills.

It’s true, I have always been the type to doomsday stuff but now, since I started the Welbutrin to quit smoking, it has been magnified a bit. This whole last week has been this roller coaster of emotions. I am sure that the combination of over working and long days affects me,  but Friday I felt like I was really enjoying being mean to people. The sad part is that I haven’t even started to stop smoking yet. You have to start the medication for two weeks, then set a stop date, mine is Feb 3^rd. I also think that the lack of sun and not being able to run outside has been a bit of a mood killer for me as well.

The last contributing factor, or excuse, is that Ryan has been trying to talk to me all week. I thought I made it clear that I wasn’t ready, but he does not seem to be listening. I think subconsciously, it has been a bit hard. I really loved him like I have never loved anyone. I have never been one to keep casual friendships. I have a lot of acquaintances but only a couple friends because it takes a lot to form those chains for people that I truly care about. I think you get the rest of the cliché about chains, bonds, broken.

Fast forward to yoga, which seems to be the only thing in my life right now I enjoy. I am in a standing forward bend and I realize, “stop it.” Stop doing this to yourself, you will always be okay, if not better, you are amazing, and taking a shower might be a good idea cause it smells weird down here.

I will be fine for a couple of reasons. I don’t talk fanatically talk about it but I do believe in God and I do believe that my life is amazing because of her/him, or shim or sherm. I also believe in Amy Winehouse and I do these things to myself. I create these fictionalized scenarios that will never come to fruition just because I have imagined them.

Isn’t life and Yoga funny that way?!